‘Million Mustache March’
The mustache lobby is coming to Washington. The American Mustache Institute (AMI) is planning a “Million Mustache March” on the nation’s capital, part of an ongoing campaign to convince lawmakers to create government incentives to grow facial hair. Rally organizers plan to mobilize their mustache-wearing compatriots on April 1st at the White House and march to Capitol Hill. Their rallying cry: Pass the “Stimulus To Allow Critical Hair Expenses,” or STACHE Act, which would “provide a $250 annual tax deduction for expenditures on mustache grooming supplies.” According to AMI research, mustached Americans earn 4.3% more money than “clean-shaven Americans” on average per year. They say providing incentives for mustache growth would boost the economy. The subsidy, according to the proposal, would cover all products required for any proper mustache-wearing patriot, including:
- Mustache and beard trimming instruments
- Weightless conditioning agents and wax
- Facial hair coloring products (for men and women over 43 years of age)
- Bacon
- Mustache combs and mirrors
- Burt Reynolds wallet-sized photos
The campaign’s backers have recruited celebrities to help support the cause, including guitarist John Oats, Ellie Kemper of “The Office” and Milwaukee Brewers pitcher John Axford. Each will produce videos to inspire mustached activists to support the STACHE Act. The group has also secured a promise from H&R Block to donate to a charity that provides clean drinking water for each person who participates in the march. Find out more at www.americanmustacheinstitute.org.
